Remember those tests where one question would be:

“Michigan is as recognized academically”

I bet he voted for Brexit

We have found our best weapon against terrorists: shitfaced sports fans. Jihadis may be drunk on salafism and eager for instant paradise; but sports fans are drunk on shitty beer and eager to hit someone with a chair. And there’s more of them, and they are everywhere. Can you imagine mobilizing sixty thousand…

I tell ya...

*Looks at headline*

Hey, That Guy! So good of you join!

They should really be waiting for Chicago sports fans to tell them when it’s ok to cheer.

Did Blackhawks fans exist before 2013?

Swept. Enjoy the finals.

Are you still upset about not hearing Chelsea Dagger this post season, 1 seed?

He’s more coherent than the President of the United States. That should count for something.

He blew a .00 or, as John Daly calls it, .3 under par.

The leakers of the videos are the real problem here. Sad.

This qualifies as a news story? This really is the greatest witch hunt in American hiscoco.

I was wondering how long before a Jez commenter mentioned his hair loss.

John Daly calls that a Thursday.

Aaaaaand. . . . We found the asshole, everyone.

It’s not that he couldn’t skate; he was just able to repeatedly defer skating because of those bone spurs…

Let me get my magnifying glass