You should try Dr. Google instead of this cretin.

Marchand is Grayson Allen with a mullet.

If you fuck Bob Rohrman’s wife, he will sue you. Just google bob rohrman wife lawsuit.

Roger Bossard had that fixed before you or I had our first drink tonight. #Sodfather

Too bad it wasn’t Bernie’ s “turn”, I suppose.

To the anonymous sperm recipient he profiles as a rich, successful jounalist. Yeah. Chew on that.

*Masturbating furiously*

I am so fucking drunk right now.

That’s not Mark Davis, it’s Eric Stoltz in makeup.

You are smoking pot wrong. Pipe stays outside, smoke goes in.

He went one-on-four and called a foul. Weak.

That’s a -12 WAR (Wins Above Rapes). I will defer to Bill James.

I’ve only seen the show twice but from what I picked up I’m guessing the show ends with the tattooed one getting naked and depressed.

Be thankful USA was spelled right. Our POTUS tweets at a third grade level.

To hell with the Japanese. I still remember Waterloo.

This is so passe. This trick was used in an early Tom Hanks movie. I think it was “Big.” Sounds right.

That’s Matty Vasgersian, who is named like a guy that runs a neutering island retreat.

I don’t know how to use who and whom properly, so count your blessings.

I would’ve went for her abs. That’s a missed opportunity, IMO.