Publix is a gift from God to the hellhole He made Florida.

And I thought I was cool because I can climb Stone Mountain..it’s a wimpy 1600ft. I’m a native Floridan though so anything above sea level is a hill to me.

My cat likes to come in and stare at me so I GTFO before she steals my soul.

I don’t take fiber but I’m a vegetarian and that seems to give the same result. I never understand why men take 30 minutes to poop?

My boyfriend has 10 of these. We always pick them up at the thrift store. I have learned some interesting things about history lately!

For the last 10 years I have worked retail, and I try to only poop whilst on the clock. I will even go to the bathroom before clocking out for lunch. If they get 9 hours of my day they can give me my 5 minute pee time back.

Unibroue is my favorite non-Georgia brewery. La Fin Du Monde is so yummyyyyyyy

We always had one of these as a kid, so the nostalgia factor makes me love mine. My mom gave it to me when I moved into my new house. My boyfriend had never seen one before but he loves it.

I use a French press every morning. If you get an electric tea kettle it saves you some time. The coffee tastes noticeably better even with my cheap Folgers columbian because I don’t have that fancy of a palate.

Yes. Fuck Florida. For so many reasons.

I woke up once when I was maybe 12? to a tickle feeling in my ear when then escalated to SERIOUS TICKLES and loud noises. I woke up my parents and my dad assured me it was just water in my ear from the shower and i would be fine. I woke him up a few more times and finally he poured peroxide in my ear. SEARING PAIN AND…

I love how they are basically asking you for your permission to say this was ‘shade’! Maybe you are winning the shade war after all?

all that is good and holy aka diet of the gods/goddesses/sea nymphs

FASCIST

I NEED THIS HAT PLZ

I wish we could. And I wish we could publicly shame people for using the parts of these animals that cause them to be slaughtered. I am 100% fine with hunting for sustenance but to kill an elephant for it’s tusk is disgusting.

Actually, 5 endangered elephants were slain in kenya and nobody noticed... #lionprivelege

I am about to cry over this. Poor lion :(

Is that short for ‘millionz’ ?