“I am the only one who knows who the finalists are”

I’m sorry, but who among us would not fuck Harrison Ford, especially Han Solo-Harrison Ford? It is for this reason (as well as murder Hitler when he was just a shitty art student, and someone else I won’t mention in case the Feds are watching) I would build a fucking time machine. To fuck Han Solo/Raiders of the Lost…

White America- Where a woman who drinks is asking to get raped but a man who drinks is the victim when he tries to kill someone.

“Dr. Carson feels he has no government experience, he’s never run a federal agency. The last thing he would want to do was take a position that could cripple the presidency.”

I’m not at all surprised that there are disgusting creeps who will use hypnosis to sexually assault women. But on the other hand, I am absolutely surprised that hypnosis is real. I always thought it was a sham.

So what I’m getting from this (honest not snarky question), is that even the pollsters ignored the middle of the country (aka giant red river of destruction), correct?

IT IS NOT NATE SILVER’S FAULT THAT PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND PROBABILITIES. He gave Trump a higher chance of winning the presidency than the Cubs had of coming back and winning the World Series after Game 4 and we literally all JUST saw that happen. He doesn’t conduct the polls, he aggregates them, and there was no way…

I came here to read this and offer up two scoops of snark. But I am not goin to take that route. Mr. Dvorsky has written a good primer as to what can happen with some pregnancies for those not in the know. Even under normal circumstances pregnancy and child birth is a messy and complicated endavour.

which is remarkably funny, because melania totally aped the first lady’s speech, in heels.

It’s not this woman’s sole responsibility to bear the burden of what we did, though. I can’t fault her for protecting herself.

At the WH Correspondents’ Dinner in ’15, Obama was saying that he and Joe have gotten to be such good friends that some places in Indiana won’t even serve them pizza anymore. ;)

A friend of mine on the day after the election stated that he planned on flossing his teeth first, because he couldn’t see any way that could be bad, and figuring out through next step after that.

A local Arab-American activist said the safety pins mattered to the Muslim community, because that way they don’t feel so alone.

I’ve definitely become more assertive with men since Tuesday. My boyfriend is practically afraid of me.

My friend one pooped a single poop that ended up making a big healthy circle in the bowl. She took a picture. I am ashamed of how bad I wanted to see it once I heard of it (though, being a goddamn lady, I protested and pretended I didn’t want to see). Luckily she is as weird as I am, and insisted that I look. And her…

Thank you, Pizzafarts.

DAMN YOU JOHN LEGEND AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SONG ABOUT LOVE. I was doing a pretty good job of holding it together until I watched this damn music video. Ugh for the love of crock pots my face is LEAKING. 😩

This is extremely embarrassing, but I sharted on my way home from work on Wednesday. I had stress poops all day at work and I just wasn’t expecting it. Trump made me dump (in my pants) :(

I have heard quite a few people express the hope today that trump will become less abhorrent after the inauguration and he was just putting on an act to get elected. Is this bargaining stage of the five stages of grief?