“Once I stopped with the diet soda I stopped with the headaches.”

“I have chronic migraines as an adult.”

Which is it?

Well holy shit, that’s basically a clinical trial right there.

Uhhhh it really isn’t.

It’s people like these who give police a terrible name.

Everyone pimps their sacred ground. Go to Arlington National Cemetary, the Tomb of the Unknown Solider or any notable cathedrial/basillica and you can buy a souvenir.

Ohhhh, so it’s Dr. “Would You Like Fries With That?”

You can take a tour of the Vatican too, but you’ll probably get arrested if you take your clothes off.

They spend three days, have to pay a fine and will be deported as early as tomorrow. Yeah, brutal punishment.

The stars decided. You lost.

Wonder if instagram will go after him? They share the ownership rights to those photos as soon as you hit upload.

Not guilty is the definition of innocent, genius. Your comment wouldn’t even make a C+.

The guy who runs the frozen embryo bank has dollar signs in his eyes right now.

Here in Nova Scotia we don't have a two-tiered minimum wage, just one for everyone. Since I make minimum wage too I rarely tip when I go out. Sure it sucks for the server, but I've got limited income and it's not like they gave me an extra five dollars the last time they called in for tech support.

When my girlfriends best friend called me, as I was shopping for an engagement ring, to tell me she had been cheating on me for about a year. When I confronted her about it she denied it, but eventually came clean. I kicked her out the next day.

Sorry Jolie, I've gotta stick with Pierre Berton on this one....

"Further, people in Asian countries hardly consume any dairy. In the World Health Organization's 2012 report, three of the top five life highest life expectancies were found in Asian countries. Consider the dots connected. (The secret immortality is not drinking milk.)"

Too bad this will never happen in her lifetime.

You have never walked through eight feet of snow.

I call bullshit. You've never walked through eight feet of snow.

Jezebel: Raising other peoples kids since 2015.