“I made a joke about dating, and then AMY made a joke about dating!! THEN I made a joke about boobs, and of course Amy went and made a boob-joke too! Then I did this whole bit where it would be surprising that I was being crass because I am a girl, you know? Guess what! AMY went and did that too! And Amy NEVER steals…

Story of my life in two frames.

I know we all make fun of Hill’s pantsuits, but in this context it feels like a fuck-you and I love it.

For the record, I’m refusing to spend Christmas with Madonna as well.

She managed to find her equal, I think.

Given everything that asswipe of an ex put her through she can post obnoxious pictures of this wedding forever as far as I’m concerned.

It effects everyone differently, much like PMS. I love menopause, too, and it came early for me. No periods, no risk of pregnancy (even though my tubes were tied I was the person that still worried), etc.

I would like a week on a beach, a bottomless cocktail and all of these to go with, please.

For you.

Clive Standen

Vikings, babe.

I’m gonna hold for Fabio; a robust Italian with cheesy undertones and a bouquet of Axe.

Why didn’t anyone think of that earlier? At some point, every bottle of inexpensive wine in your average shop had some sort of silly, risque name. Why not hitch a well-known brand to a winery and at least add some campy fun to the double entendres?

Right? I met my boyfriend in a bar, we got drunk and talked about Lord of the Rings. Then we made out.

PREACH! Everything is better with man-jello.