Amen. And better. 

No. Bias died two days after being drafted. 

Seriously, he wrote 100,000 words and didn't tell us if he can still dance like that. 

I have an Aussie friend who says Australia is auditioning to be the 51st state. It's the Florida of continents. 

Good riddance. Now can we talk about actual players? 

Your argument has all the validity we would expect from someone who admits from the get-go he has no fucking idea what he’s talking about. Meanwhile, I can’t be bothered to Google it, but I firmly believe James Franco is the Queen of Antarctica.

You took the middle road, to nowhere.

I think you’re giving him too much credit. No one ever said, “I need to stop smoking so much weed. It’s turning me into an imbecile.”

If Peterman had played in Brady’s era, with all the …. wait, I had something for this. But  Ruth was so fat and out of shape. That would be like, oh, I don’t know, say, Miguel Cabrera hitting for the Triple Crown, or a little guy winning the AL MVP two years in a row!

I’m a new-school MLB guy, and I’d be happy to explain why it was much, much harder to hit home runs in Ruth’s day. 

King is legitimately insane in a disturbing, “hide under the bed, kids” kind of way. Look at those eyes. There’s nothing going on back there.

In other news, the good people of Iowa voted to send this psycho back to Washington. Hooray for democracy! Truly, we elect the politicians we deserve.

Nah. That’s not a hot take. That’s just fucking stupid. I was at Cole Field House when he did the cuff dunk for the first time. I also saw Harrison Barnes play when he was at UNC. It’s not apples and oranges, it’s apples and zebras.

In Ruth’s day, parks were bigger, pitchers didn’t throw as hard, balls were softer and his bat was the size of a telephone pole. Softer balls don’t travel as far. Slower pitches don’t travel as far. So he had to generate ungodly bat speed with a heavy bat to hit a slow pitch with the consistency of a tomato over…

I got to watch  him play with the O’s. Good hitter. Gracious  with fans. Solid member of the community. Great teammate. He belongs in the Hall as much as I do. “Pretty good DH” is about the same as “one of Adam Sandler’s better movies”.

It’s fine, really. I don’t need the Jamboroo because of my long list of fulfilling hobbies and huge circle of friends. Who am I kidding. My life is an inky black abyss. What shitty foreign beer am I missing out on this week. He is missed. NO ONE DENIES THIS. 

I had heard about how shocking the ending of Infinity War was. Then I saw it and was insulted. We fucking KNOW these characters aren’t dead. If they had killed off Iron Man or Captain America, that would have been a gut punch. 

This is one of the best films of the year. I personally would nominate the bear scene. Hearing her voice coming out of its mouth was one of the most chilling things I’ve ever seen. The book, by the way, was awful. I wonder how Jeff Vandermeer felt watching the movie, thinking, “Oh, so that’s what it’s about.”

No, no, no. His apparent stupidity and veneer of ignorance are all part of a carefully crafted communication strategy in which he simplifies his language to express complex, nuanced positions in terms his followers can understand. Or something. So many Trumpanzees have tried to convince me that he talks like an…

He puts scotch tape on his tie. 

dumb as dirt