Right. That’s called a shakedown in legalese.

“Baumann hired noted notorious attorney Gloria Allred”

You’re with me, lawyer.

Dunno if this adds anything substantial...but fuggit (all this is hearsay and second-party characterizations, so Ill lead with that):

Berman? Carter? Who gives a shit? When are you going to follow up on the story everyone really wants to know more about?

Chris Berman looks like sexual harassment.

Mozzarella stick grease.

This is all well and good, but why on earth are you using a picture of John Daly?

yup

I had to contain my snark with all the late 20s people freaking out about inexplicable multi-organ failure potentially happening to them. For fucks sake people really?

And Pussy. Lots of it.

Exactly. If JFK knew about anything, it was commenting on the Internet.

Given the number of “Oh my God, I’m 29, could all of my organs spontaneously fail too?” responses to the original story, my take is warranted, thank you.

File to: No shit.

I was thinking Kinks.

Banning headers for boys under 11 and cutting down the 11-13 header percentage would never go over at the Vatican.

Seriously, this is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard.

I’m all for preventing traumatic brain injuries in children, but what are the kids supposed to do if a ball is coming towards them in the air? Leap out of the way? Curl into the fetal position? Eat more orange slices?

This is why I’ll only let my kids participate in non-contact soccer activities, like seven-figure bribery.

Heading was also the “soccer-specific” activity that caused the most concussions, followed by “defending,” “general playing,” and “goalkeeping.”