The first ever lead-off switch-hitting African-American Cub’s player to ever hit a HR in Game 7 of the World Series in the 1st inning.

Get this guy a job on Kinja?

Barry’s brain can’t handle nor comprehend any information before the year 2000.

Fuck, any QB that played behind Brady has it fucking made in this league. See: Brian Hoyer

Jared “Hefty Lefty” Lorenzen (won a fucking ring with the NYG)

“Big Ben will trick ya...ya know what I mean!...”

Pre-Season isn’t really FOR the superstars and your fantasy whores Barry, it’s more for the guys trying to cling on to a roster or make a practice squad. If you want to “fix” the pre-season you’re dead wrong, that injury to Nelson could’ve happened in 7 on 7’s or OTA’s, granted it didn’t so let the fucking mayhem…

You can’t win with fucking critics, it’s either too simple or too complex, have you guys ever just said “damn that was a great show” ...but no that would be too boring, being cynical sells clicks.

Balls to the Wall! Unless you’re Caitlyn Jenner.

Dayna you definitely masturbated.

Luckily for Mike Mayock’s tongue, it was “late & low” and not “sudden & sideways”.

Peyton’s wife on the other hand, has been ecstatic since he lost all feeling in the tip of his penis as well.

Because he went to a middle school charity event with Jared Fogle?

And I thought this generation would get its shit together.

*CHIK-CHIK* Loads Shotgun-Nostrils.

The Regal Troll. Different.

They will now, dumbass.

Take notes, Kristin Cavallari.

He’s clearly a salty sack Cub fan.

You should be paid by Gawker, you’re getting fucked over man, the comments are literally half the draw.