I completely agree with you, and this article is shallowly written with no depth or nuance to it. But so many people don’t really have any idea of what gas lighting does to the victim, how insidious it is, how invested the victim becomes in maintaining the relationship, and the learned helplessness that is a major…

Thank you! I was starting to feel insane being on a “feminist” website that was suddenly actively promoting “you made your bed” philosophy towards someone who, to me, is obviously a victim of abuse.

I don’t see people slut shaming her as much as using her as an example of Republican hypocrisy.

Melania Trump should smile more.

I see both. And while I fully understand what you’re saying, I happen to belong to a school of thought that thinks calling women sluts for dressing scantily/posing nude is not and will never be okay, regardless of what people said about Mrs. Obama for years. I simply won’t fucking condone that. It is the exact…

She’s pretty. Pretty people, attractive people, almost always get the benefit of the doubt. It has been proven in various psychological studies.

What worries me is, if he is autistic or has a personality disorder (as is rumored), growing up with these people is a terrible thing.

This is the most important point here. Michelle, and her daughters have lived through the last eight years of the worst shit imaginable thrown at them on a daily basis by the Republicans. Republicans never gave any of them a single iota of respect. Can you imagine what they would have done if Michelle had posed nude…

I have a number of family members cursed with RBF. For the most part they’re actually lovely people, but they often get treated as if they’re grumpy or annoyed when in fact their emotions are completely neutral in that moment.

I agree with you on that. I may not be a fan of Melania, but even in reference to her I cannot stand this “she isn’t smiling, so she must be angry or unhappy” bull crap. It’s nonsense.

it’s the myth of lack that fosters such a precious concern for her. she made her choices. she’s an adult. if we infantilize her aren’t we just negating our own agency as women as well?

Also a cultural thing- many people in Eastern Europe are confused why Americans smile all the time, even when not happy.

Maybe it is her choice to be a trophy wife. It happens. Sorta like the Clinton’s marriage. From Hillary’s dagger looks that marriage has been dead for a long time. However, they could stay together for any number of reasons.

Did you not read the article? She does actively support his beliefs and did actively campaign for him, going back years. Stop projecting.

Melania Trump is hardly a stand-in for American women, she is neither a victim nor she is lacking agency. Rather she’s an active participant working to construct Donald Trump’s narrative readily available to put a gauzy domestic veil on his racism and misogyny.

I have some sympathy (*some*) for any woman who has internalised misogyny to the extent she ends up in this position.

I really feel like the Internet has created its own narrative around Melania and that’s a dangerous thing to do. Will never stop feeling bad for that kid though.

I think becoming a trophy wife is a legitimate choice, although it’s not one that’s open to most of us. I think she did not realize she was signing on for first-ladyship, and she probably isn’t super happy about it. Beyond that, we have to focus on what her husband’s doing.

my father has NPD and watching Trump is like reliving the nightmares of my childhood. I have sympathy for Melania.

I also don’t like the narrative that if a woman isn’t smiling all the time, she must be unhappy/bitchy/whatever. Weren’t we just defending Hillary from this nonsense?