Why am I not surprised by the misleading headline and utter lack of piss? What’s up with 2016 this year? Gimme that piss!

In a word, shit.

In a word, shit.

As a mostly ignorant spectator, do we have one player that’d see the field were they to play for Argentina? Would they even make the team?

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Ah, the fauxaffluent, or mid-to-upper middle class car dealership spawn.

No matter how appropriate the circumstance, I always feel like a douche using the word ‘aesthetic’.

Anyone else get a lesbian vibe off of him?

The other day a friend called me. I ignored it. That same friend then face-timed me. I had a heart attack.

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Bad drivers, ranked:

I disagree. I believe power cleans to be the most talent indicative lift of any lift.

I’ve specifically purchased bedtime only boxers, which are one size up from my everyday boxers. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that getting out of the shower and stepping into a pair of clean, slightly too large boxers is the highlight of my day.

I don’t see socially awkward, neurotic, or emotionally detached on this list. Does this mean I’m a catch?

You have my sword