David Lynch approves.

If she wins and you do not title the article “Woman Inherits The Earth” I will riot.

So even rich people use the “it got mailed to the wrong address excuse,” as if that nullifies their obligation. Love it. I hope the parking space rent is very high.

I rooted for Lawrence Taylor. I would challenge anybody to show me a worse person who hasn’t killed anybody.

Russell Wilson, holding on Line 3, wants to chat with you about the miracle of nanobubbles.

Cowherd’s contractually obligated to call a black person lazy in every segment.

RGIII holding on line two for you.

“Running is the easier, lazier way to play QB.”

A male feminist walks into a bar

I think I’ve figured out the code: If you give a guy a boner, you’re “curvy.” If you don’t, you’re “fat.”

As a “curvy” chick (honestly, I like to just call myself a fat girl but people take such issue with that) I’m honestly turned off when a guy makes a big deal about being into curvy girls. I like all types of body types on a dude and I’m not making a point to fucking shout it from the rooftops.

That Christopher Meloni one has me howling. WTF are you doing Elliot?!

Joe Louis had come out of retirement to fight Rocky Marciano! The man was seventy-six years old! Joe Louis always lied about his age! He lied about his age all the time! One time, Frank Sinatra came in here, and sat in this chair. I say, “Frank, you hang out with Joe Louis. Just between me and you, how old is Joe…

This isn’t an article about an MMA fighter. It’s an article about a boxinng match between a professional boxer and an amateur.

Uh oh, looks like the armchair MMA pussies have been well and truly triggered.

Remember that time Obama wore a tan suit and conservatives freaked out about it. Their silence now is deafening.

Just another day at The Gray Cocksucking Lady.

You’d rather get hit by a car than be able to suck your own dick???

Addendum: This is the White House communications director who refers to himself in the third person.

Al Swearengen is the fucking Picasso of cursing. This drip of tit spittle is little more than a feeble cocked vulgarian.