When I was shopping for my first handheld, I got a Sega Game Gear, because it was in color. And it was... alright. I had a few decent games for it, and while color was nice, it tended to be blurry when the screen scrolled. It also ate AA batteries like nobody’s business. You absolutely had to have the separate battery…

Even more disconcerting was that the plans were all written in glitter gel pen.

Are you sure it wasn’t Whizzo™ Butter?

The guides are no help. You have to upgrade all the weapons to Ultimate, and to do that you have to have Trapazohedrons and Dark Matters, plus a shit-ton of money to buy materials to boost your weapons up until they can be upgraded. I believe you can eventually buy all that stuff, but money is scarce in the game, and…

Screw that. Why go for fake fancy? You still look like you can’t afford real marble or granite tops, except now you look like you actually care that you can’t afford them. I say embrace the cheapness. Eschew this bullshit keeping-up-with-the-Joneses middle-class HGTV obsession with marble countertops and hardwood…

Screw that. Why go for fake fancy? You still look like you can’t afford real marble or granite tops, except now you…

Ugh. Final Fantasy XIII’s collect one of everything trophy. I cannot be bothered to farm Adamantoise after Adamantoise for a small chance at a drop I need to upgrade my weapons or sell to pay for the upgrade. This kind of trophy is total bullshit.

If I ever had kids, I will absolutely force them to learn and practice cursive. I have a 12-year-old nephew and his print handwriting is atrocious, never mind cursive. They do all their school assignments on tablet computers. 

Eh. I’m still not convinced. I’m not sure the hyper-realistic animal faces can emote enough to carry their performance. 

This picture of Tucker Carlson looks like if Nathan Fillion had a younger brother that their parents didn’t love as much, the moment after they completely lavish praise and attention on Nathan for making varsity right after barely acknowledging Tucker winning first place in the Science Fair.

Reminds me of another story about a stupid, senile old man who called himself “Don” and attacked windmills.

He definitely looks less punchable. Shame about his voice, though.

Is James Comey coming out with a music album or something? What is with all these pictures. And who’s taking them for him?

Ted Cruz thinks he’s funny.

I will find happiness. At Whataburger. At Dairy Queen. At Freddy’s Steakburgers. At pretty much any other burger place but McDonald’s and In-N-Out. Because all of those I listed are better.

First, I shouldn’t have to order a “double-double” to get an acceptable amount of meat. A single should have an acceptable amount of meat. Not a 1/8-inch patty that’s thinner then the onion slice. And by slice, I mean not a couple rings of onion, but an actual cross-section of onion. That’s what they gave me. A DISC…

The BKs in my region have all been great. A little thicker cut, so they’re soft inside, but all of them have been lightly crisp on the outside. But every McDonald’s I’ve been to for the last few years has been like that.

The In-N-Out pro tip is to go someplace else where you don’t have to give special instructions for the fries to not be shitty.

McDonald’s fries are garbage. Every time I eat at McDonald’s, about a third of them are limp and soggy, another third are hard brown sticks. Only about half of what remains are actually good, the rest are just so-so.

You know what would have been great? If instead of releasing all this DLC over a couple years, they instead had woven all the elements into one single coherent narrative instead of the hot mess they gave us at launch. It’s hours upon hours of open-world exploration with a leisurely pace to unfolding the story,…

It is not weak, it’s way more valid than his is.