Terrific. Radiant. Humble.

“What irks me is the absolute and total disrespect for a police officer who, instead of being home with family and enjoying a meal and a football game, is patrolling his little town...”

i believe wilbur ordered the coffee but there isn’t enough room on the label for “some pig” so the computer shortened it.  calm down, everyone.

An interrobang sounds like something that happens at very sexy police stations.

life is unfaaaaaaair

I guess he doesn’t feel the need to protect his younger, sexually active son?

I’m really hoping that, once TI’s daughter was in the examination room, the doctor said to her, hey your father is a control freak and he asked me to do a virginity check which is just stupid, but I don’t want you to get in trouble, so let’s just say I did and leave it at that. Here’s a magazine to read, wait 15…

I think for some people, the brain is non-functioning and the ass has taken over its job.

pantone color of the year?!

Taint that the truth.

I predict an all natural, organic anus sunblock, with a light lemon and chamomile scent. Don’t steal my idea Gywneth.

Stuffing and the dressing that we are talking about here are the same in the way that quiche and an omelette are the same.

It may not be possible to dismiss a comment that’s been starred? I starred yours so that it can appear if that’s the case.

Well ok then 🤷🏾‍♀️

That’s usually Karen. I already had to set her straight about that potato salad.

‘Can poppy seeds do more than decorate bagels?’ Yes indeed they can. They can be bought from a supermarket with the intentions of being used in a couple of baking projects, only to be somehow dropped, the entire bag, in the living room, and so can live in your carpet for the next four years or so, sodding things....

It was the night before I had decided to put down my beloved doberman PJ. She was suffering in terrible pain that I selfishly let linger so I could spend more time with her. I fried up two pounds of bacon and sat on the floor with her eating bacon together. It was the first food she had eaten in days. She was so damn…

Wait, do you mean the burger has cancer?

He’s already got the cancer, it’s not like he can get more cancer.