MyNoise saved my sanity a few years ago when my tinnitus suddenly flared up. I thought I would go insane from the high-pitched tone, and searched frantically for something that would help me. I even underwent hypnotherapy, but it didn’t really work. Rain and water sounds worked the best at blocking it, but finding the…

It’s not just owning the machine. There’s the materials, keeping it supplied, having it cleaned and maintained, and repairs when it inevitably breaks down.

Oh, ow. How in god’s name did that happen?

Ok, that actually made me gag. Would not want to judge that.

T-Pain won the first season of the The Masked Singer, and he deserved it. Without knowing who was in the costume, all anyone heard was this amazing voice, full of emotion, with range and versatility. He was in tears when he won, saying he knew that people had finally been listening to him without prejudice, and…

I was never a drinker, so when I started partying in my twenties, I could get roaring drunk on half a Bartles & Jaymes, be sobered up by the time everybody else was starting to get buzzed, and be working on a hangover while everyone else was blotto.

If you have the option of installing one. You’re kind of at the mercy of building management if you live in an apartment building, and they tell you “no”.

I used to just be frustrated by all the morons screaming and ranting about their right to not wear a mask, but now I’m fucking furious. We were supposed to be out of this mess by now. We were going to start actually living free by this summer. Everyone would be vaccinated and herd immunity would kick in and we’d all…

“...to take the reins”.

She chose to flea instead of stopping. Probably ticked those officers off. I wonder how she’ll worm her way out this.

I found it fascinating that so many people seemed to have discovered that they could get by on less if it meant not working themselves to death, or that it was worth it to have more time with their families. The forced isolation had a lot of people realizing what was really important to them, and sometimes it wasn’t…

Jesuschrist, I was making more than that as an office clerk. The only qualifications needed was the ability to alphabetize and make coffee. And I didn’t know how to make coffee.

My husband discovered that he could sell adult magazines on ebay for almost twice the cover price, so he signed up for both Playboy and Penthouse. I objected, until I started reading the Playboys. If I ignored the naked women, they were interesting reads, and I’m not even a sad middle-aged businessman.

Ok, pockets automatically add +10.

My husband thought it would be funny to get a Groupon and take me to Hooters. The restaurant had a lot of strikes against it, as far as I was concerned, but the wings were the worst we ever had. I picked one up and the grease just ran down and dripped off. I used almost the entire roll of those paper towels they have…

I don’t understand why she didn’t just stick it into the drink when she wanted to take a sip, then take it out until she was thirsty again. That’s what I would do.

I remember when I was around nine driving round with my mom one day, and a rainstorm suddenly started dumping so much water that we couldn’t see. My mom pulled over and we just sat there as the water pounded on the roof so hard that it sounded like the metal would buckle. The windows looked like we were under Niagara…

It’s the grocery carts left in parking spots that irks me.

I hate those people with a passion. They always get a loud, obnoxious, “EXCUSE ME!” from me.

Ok, his proclivity towards reproduction notwithstanding, what the fuck is up with those names?