My other alias is LangdonAlger. You are my entwined proton.

I haven't read anything of Eggers' since A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius was trumped up as basically the best humanity could put on paper. Even if I missed some good bits here and there, sounds like I'm unlikely to regret it. His sensibility about what makes for a real person is just off somehow.

It's odd that the pictures don't seem to know what to do with her. She's nailed two major TV roles now. Tommy Wiseau's career was built on much less.

Fun parlor game: who would you pit against Katee Sackhoff in an intensity contest? I vote Cillian Murphy.

I really have to disagree with you there. Naming a major character "Ford Lincoln Mercury" is fun, but it's a sign the creative rot goes pretty deep. Also it's just . . . very, very long.

Okay, I have to be that guy: I thought Snowpiercer was a real overwrought dud. When it was over, my first thought was, "The emperor has no clothes." And no one can tell me why they thought it was so cool. I get the feel of it and the idea of it, but the execution was just off. So there. That's my rant on Snowpiercer.

When I looked at the cast list, for a beautiful moment I thought they'd cast Bradley Whitford as the arms dealer middleman. Anyone in the same movie as Josh Lyman post-White House career should watch his ass, including Miles Teller and Dick Cheney.

Oddly, I can't get into Peaky Blinders. Not his fault. Nothing's his fault.

Cillian Murphy has been cool since "28 Days Later." After he killed it in "The Wind That Shakes the Barley," a truly great movie with amazing acting and dialogue and very little American commercial appeal, Hollywood said, "Let's give him a small part in the Batman franchise and toss him a few lines in 'Inception.'"…

A lobotomized cow? That's great, Internet person! Ha ha ha ha! What'll we think of next?