He swallowed a lot of little Walter Whites.

I'll write my own Newswire, with blackjack and hookers. On second thought, forget the Newswire.

"Desktop rimjob caterpillar floppy disk proton Hatesong paperclip n-word."

Oh goddamn, that sucks, both for us and for her.

Comment/username synergy.

When first reading the headline, I missed the words "an audition for" and I thought "well, I hope it was one hell of a magic trick."

Did anyone here actually see this movie?

Genital Props sounds like some kind of strange porn / talk show hybrid where the hosts give each other compliments on their privates.

I bet his cock tastes like honey.

I enjoyed it a great deal.

Oh, I get it now. It kinda doesn't even seem like a newsworthy event, though. I've often wondered why the AV Club doesn't post a daily grab bag of news tidbits not substantial enough to deserve their own article.

Efron funk gon' give it to ya!

I used to end all my communications that way, but I'm trying to cut back on lying.

Is Anne Hathaway in this? The Selina Kyle mention made that unclear, and it does seem like exactly the kind of movie she would do.

There are probably perverts who would be interested in owning clothing worn by Aubrey Plaza.

So there's going to be a Mary Poppins sequel. That's the only information I was able to get out of this Newswire. That wasn't even close to coherent.

That's a really good movie with a really shit title.

I dunno if he's a pervert, but Bay's a pretty serious misogynist. He's also a loon if he thinks Megan Fox is more appealing than Kate Beckinsale.

I'm far from a Star Trek expert, but judging Into Darkness from a cinematic perspective, it's a piece of shit.

That's a goddamn lie and you know it!