On the list of reasons why I can't date Natalie Dormer, I feel like that one isn't at the top.

I wish them the best, but I'd like these Queens a lot better if they scored me some dope.

The horror, the [shitty basic cable] horror.

It would be an appropriate headline if these kids had been asked to spell "santorum."

"Finally" implies that anybody was anticipating it.

No, the comments section of the Ghostbusters thinkpiece got savage as fuck. This was a minor kerfuffle at best.

Remember when there were supposed to have been like five Avatar sequels by now? James Cameron has put more blue people out of work than the closing of the Smurf Village coal mine.

I remember seeing this trailer at the theater last March. It's really a shame it got caught up in all of this legal bullshit. I still want to see it, whenever we end up getting that opportunity.

I think he was a fan and asked her out? I don't know. I can't imagine it happened organically.

I think Debbie got that virus when she did Dallas.

"Nobody has a better milkshake than me, Donald J. Trump. I've got the best milkshake, and it brings all the boys to the yard, and I'm gonna build a wall to keep Mexican rapists and drug runners from getting to my milkshake. Everybody wants a taste of my milkshake. You're gonna get sick of how good my milkshake is."

Not reading that, Internet. I'd rather fuck one of the stoned sheep.

That's legit.

It would have to be a Netflix series, right? I can't see the MCU ever making an R-rated movie.

In the unlikely event that they ever get back together and tour, I'm going to find a way to go. I don't care where it is.

"Aww, dude, your wool is just like so fuckin' soft right now, bro. It's like you're a pillow. Do you think — do you think it's possible for us to get to sleep by counting humans? Whoa, man."

I have a great hairstyle too!

Jeez, that sucks. Yet another mindless shooting. I like my Chicago barbershops better when nobody dies and Cedric the Entertainer says funny stuff.

Do Tweedy and Farrar still hate each other?

Does that mean flip-flopper Paul Ryan is the douche who doesn't know which douche he is?