Do you wank? YOU WILL.

Caitlyn America.

That's crazy talk. Who the fuck is Armin Tamzarian and why are you speaking gibberish? Seymour Skinner is the Principal from The Simpsons. That's all there is to it.

"I am the captain now! I'm gonna be the greatest captain you have ever seen. Everybody's gonna get sick of what a good captain I am."

I hope he says something about this, but he's probably too busy being pissed that his least favorite of his own work, The Killing Joke is an animated movie now.

He's a double agent.

Drugs are bad, m'kay.

Everybody and their grandma has heard about it by now. It's all over the news. AV Club is obligated to report on something this major.

*googles it too*

Zack Snyder can chug a jar of Granny's Peach Tea.

The goggles! They do nothing!

You've gotta be a real whiz to get on this show.

We'll always have the 2001 Nicolas Cage box office flop Captain Corelli's Mandolin.

Yeah, whatever edgy bullshit they're trying to do here in order to peddle a few books, it's insanely disrespectful to the memory of Jack Kirby.

And that's why they pay me the big bucks to write CBS sitcoms.

More like Craptain America!!!1!

Limited CBS Schedule Limits Limit-Pushing Limitless to Limited Run

I know my dad would be pretty pissed if I told him I was a queen for a day.

#YesAllWaterBottleGuys

My family already has that show. It's called America's Next Top Racial Slur.