Why does McNabb have your girlfriend’s phone number...?

When the Browns win a championship.

This whole thing could be avoided if we switched the anthem to James Brown’s “Living in America.”

Smooth. +1

Then they’ll be the 11-71ers.

In point of fact, by winning the game, the Sixers AVOIDED making history by making sure they would NOT have the worst three season record of all time. So the real headline should be “Sixers Win Game, Do Not Make History.” I’m pretty fucking sick of these clickbait headlines.

My mom says I’m a catch.

Interesting. If they keep trading everyone, they might end up with the most innovative no-huddle offense in the league.

This is of course entertaining the notion that Ronaldo would pass a penalty to begin with...

Philly sports is one giant garbage fire.

I saw on Twitter someone posted (paraphrased), “saying ‘save the rainforests’ doesn’t automatically mean ‘fuck all other forests,’” which I appreciated as an analogy for all this “all lives matter” nonsense.

“It’s gonna be, like, 2 degrees? Nah, I’m good. I’ll stay here.”

Someone is very good at reading articles.

but it’s hard to feel too bad for a guy who’s never shown any interest in giving his own fans (or anyone else’s) even a half-decent team to watch.

It's the mad cow.

My daily fantasy consists of both of these companies going away.