1) Because “nothing” happened to make it newsworthy.

When i was 14 no one gave a fuck what i had to say and frankly, they were right not to.

But you can just add “if you’re not making sub 7 minute miles on your current pair of shoes you’re wasting our money”

 Can we suspend Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, and Mark Wahlberg without pay too? This would save black and white people from having to watch shitty movies made by racist shitty white actors from Boston.

#notallwhitewomen amirite?

Wait... we’re really wondering why someone who was sentenced to 5 years for stealing $120 would be afraid of standing trial for armed robbery?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That one’s supposedly average boyfriend was also the best looking of the men in the article.

Quick story: I was donating blood at the Red Cross once, and there was this chatty guy on a table next to me talking to the nice, obliging phlebotomist while giving blood. First, he bragged about how he donates blood unlike all his bro friends with muscles, who are scared of needles. Then, when she asked him where he…

His definition of “full head of hair” is pretty loose.

The craziest part of their conspiracy theory? That one person is responsible for all the animations in a AAA game.

The tears on this website might be a close second. It’s a fucking football game, not a metaphor for the country.

Different world, Different

Is this the trick? Could we get him to act right just by complaining about Obama? “Fuck Obamacare, a real president would have gone single-payer!” “Obama was so weak on criminal justice reform, if only we had a strong, manly president who got rid of qualified immunity.”

E!’s new series Revenge Body with Khloe Kardashian is based on the idea that if someone wrongs you, you can get back at them by altering your body’s shape and size.

I’ve met him, he’s a really great guy actually. I hope they’ll be happy.

When asked whether or not she’s racist or what, she responded “I’ve never used racial slurs to address people.

I stopped going to office parties a long time ago. Seriously, even free booze isn’t enough to make me want to spend more time with folks I see almost every fucking day in a work capacity and most I don’t really like anyway. In fact, why waste my buzz on them?

Yeah, but then you get Pence.

Dear Sir,