Well the Heat are known for taking the best things from other teams for the viewing of apathetic Miami revelers

Yes. I'm ashamed to say. *cue hari-kari*

Too close to philly, they're catching second-hand assholishness.

Oklahoma City?

Wow. I did not notice it was the same voice, until now.

So....you're going to return that, right?

I assume someone will be collecting the facebook/twitter responses of hilariously confused Nascar fans. I can't wait.

"Unfortunately, Houston and Portland both wear red, a nuance lost on whatever computer program generated this image."

I feel like the only true victors are anyone who chooses not to eat at these places.

Because they were the only ones paying attention. Nobody else noticed that Wiz's have beat the Bulls 4 out of the last 5 regular season meetings, and have done successfully neutered Noah. There is being a difference between being a homer...and knowing what you're talking about.

4%?....
Pundits get distracted by teams/players that they're familiar with or get more press.
Most of DC's sports people predicted it was a series that the Wizards could win (or at least go 7 games in a loss).
It was kind of a no-brainer. Wizards match up better against the Bulls than they do against any of the other…

COMEDY MUST BE 100% FACTUALLY ACCURATE!

They should get Nene as the security guard. He's kept Noah from shooting the ball all week.

If Tebow joined Knicks the entire ESPN building would explode into a black hole.

You have to buy a drink before you can get the last 27 seconds.

DC: We suck at sports.

I get some of it, but this loses all credibility by having the Marlins #8 in MLB teams.
What part of the plan was smart...
Grossly overspending for mediocre players?
Deciding to give up 2 months later and trade all of the mediocre players?
Being in last place, and horrible?

When you are the league example of how not to…

It goes back 5 years, so they get a lot of points for the 4 years they weren't overpaying a shitty quarterback.

"People cheated. Lots of people do it. But no one got hurt, so it's OK."
You forgot the part about "TurtleBoy" being a piece of shit. Vital plot point, there.