I’m so confused about United’s roll. I find it odd that a woman so in distress would make it that far into the process of possibly having taken off had she not said anything.

You missed the woman’s AWESOME follow up. Bravo!

SIT DOWN PIERS, YOU FAT MOTHER[BLEEEEEEP]!

haha that last tweet, shoving her award in his face. so petty. so wonderful. she is the patronus we need right now.

Barbara Bush is to pettiness what Aleksandr Karelin is to wrestling.

WASPs do petty really well.

I just HAVE to know what you think of this:

I want this to be a rule everywhere.

As I’ve said before - my favorite part of this weekly post is looking for the shade in the article itself. My favorite this week was “co-president.”

big switch + tiny hands = darkness.

My favorite comment on this (and I can’t remember which person posted it) was that perhaps Biden plastered over the switches on his way out and the memes are real.

I wonder if it’s going to dawn on him that he’s never going to “enjoy” anything about his life again (assuming he ever enjoyed anything). If he keeps occupying the office of President, he’s going to keep fucking up (only on a progressively larger scale) and getting rightfully shit on by (at least) 60% of the country…

“And so, in conclusion, it is my opinion that the third way to kill a mockingbird was the best of the book. The others seemed like they would be too hard. Thank you.”

One time, I forgot about a presentation I had in fourth grade. I didn’t research or read anything. Totally forgot about it for weeks. I did my best to wing it, but I only fooled the other idiot kids in the room, not my teacher. Every time Trump speaks, I hear that presentation.

“Trump wasn’t paying attention for the briefing”

Always good to remind them that he raised taxes and granted amnesty to illegal immigrants.

The Reagan comparisons are depressing me. Nearly everyone I’ve ever met, aside from my extremely liberal parents, thinks he was the best president ever, full stop. Even other Democrats I know seem fairly oblivious to the well-known facts about his decline. This tells me that the Trumpers aren’t coming around anytime…

I’ve always found ridiculous and hypocritical that Republicans consider themselves to be the most patriotic yet hold someone who basically committed treason and violated the law of the land to be the best president of this lifetime.

I’m not the first to put this theory forwad, but my Aussie friend told me the consensus in Australia is that Trump wasn’t paying attention for the briefing prior to his call with Turnbull, so when an aide handed him the phone and said, “here’s PM Turnbull of the Australian Liberal Party” Trump just assumed Turnbull…

“I told the American people I did not trade arms for hostages. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that’s true, but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not.”