Precisely. And when all of these things that women are choosing —from ditching their names to getting breast implants to shaving off their body hair— line up exactly with what men want, we’ve at least got to question how free these choices are.

Even the bit about him saying ‘you don’t belong here’ - to me that just ramps up the psychological pressure on the woman who is having an awful experience and hating it. I’ve always found him to have an edge of sadism that isn’t really necessary for what he’s doing.

It reminds me of an article I read about harassment to women in the world of comic book publishing and how women used to alert each other about which men in the industry should be avoided, because if they reported them, they (the women) would be ignored at best and would lose their job in the worst case. You can’t…

Absolutely. The GF also then followed it up with a line about how “I like [thing X] but I know I’m being indoctrinated to like it and that’s fine, I want to get off. But also I want to live in a world where I was never told that was something that was hot.”

Right on. This “I choose my choice” brand of feminism is perfectly unhelpful. Nobody is saying you’re not allowed to like what you like, but when they suggest that maybe you like something that you wouldn’t like had it not been for the toxic culture you’ve soaked up since birth, they’re not passing judgement on you as…

And she had a great line of “I don’t judge individuals but let’s say I am suspicious of how many dudes have fantasies that align perfectly with existing patriarchal norms.”

Well, his public image prior to this was as the guy who was not a threat or disgustingly porn-y.

That article was really well done. I appreciated the honesty and perspective the writer brought to it.

LOL I don’t like having my “kink” called out? That you think watching porn is some crazy “kink” to be called out proves my point.

Are you being serious? lol Stop with the ridiculous analogies. Your point is bad and you should feel bad. You’re clearly unable to answer or refute anything I’ve said or answer any questions. Now you’re going to come up with ridiculous scenario after ridiculous scenario instead. You’re wrong but you’re entitled to…

Well, first off, although some states have lumped together assault and battery, assault is generally defined as either intent to put someone in reasonable fear of imminent harmful or offensive contact, or as an attempted battery. Battery is a crime (or tort) that occurs when contact actually results, so for clarity’s…

UGH, can we not conflate sexually consenting BDSM with rape. PLEASE. What he does on scene is not assault. Many of my friends and I participate in that sort of sex play. I’m not being raped when I fuck my boyfriend.

Stoya is saying he Ignored her safeword and kept going past her consent boundaries in rough play.

I’m not okay with calling pornographic sex “sexually assaulting women for a living”

I also agree about the professional impact this could have on her career. There is absolutely zero benefit that comes her way from an accusation like this. None. She's also a perfect candidate for abuse as most people believe people in certain industries are incapable of being assaulted.

ATTENTION -

Yeah, someone posted that comment in the grays (must...resist...urge to...respond! Actually, I think it was Red Guard: he’s been going on around making comments like that. There he is...down there...hello, Red Guard! I seeee you!).

Boy, I hope this post provokes a lot more commentary attacking rape survivors who enjoy BDSM as “bad” victims and gleefully appropriating Stoya’s rape to advance a position she profoundly disagrees with. Because we didn’t get enough of that on the first post.

It seems obvious to me she has more to lose, than to gain, by accusing a very well liked celebrity of something like this. Something everyone will challenge and doubt and crack jokes about. I’ve already read some horrible things like, “I hope he paid her after.”

I think it’s just hard for some people to come to grips with, the idea that someone they’ve known and cared about could do something so horrible.

I hope she has all the support she needs at the moment. I feel like a lot of us have similar stories about having to grin and bear it when our abusers are mentioned. I can't imagine what that must feel like on such a large and public platform.