The survivors of the USS Indianapolis would like a word. As would the dead ones who got tasted to death. Ugh, that story…

My dad graduated with a sociology degree in '58 and he was s raging conservative. On the other hand, when I asked him what he studied, he mentioned "time-motion studies" which were designed for assembly line workers and showed how much time it took to, for example, put some vacuum tubes in a radio chassis. So I guess…

This is exactly the uniform I picture Suicide Hostesses wearing when I read Kurt Vonnegut's Welcome to the Monkey House. Well done, Mickey D's!

The Baked Alaska was a nice touch, although Alaska itself lacks the protective meringue to keep the permafrost from melting.

We made genocide on Native Americans and had slavery for 150 years give or take. We've had Jim Crow and segregation. Still, this is about 50 steps backward. I think even Andrew Jackson would say "geez, these guys need to class it up a bit."

My mom kept a collection of my old articles from the college newspaper and gave them to me over Christmas last year. Seeing your thought process during your college years will teach you humility. I'm just glad I graduated pre-internet (shudders)

From their wherevers

The target audience appeared to be obnoxious d-bags, which couldn't have helped.

Along with the Tomb of the Unknown Mohd.

No, it's the People's Front of Judea!

Mark also appears to shave his eyebrows. I think that Al put him together in a lab.

Green Charteruse would be a nice touch. I've only drank that when absolutely everything else at the party was gone, even Bailey's Irish cream.

England, however, has Toad in the Hole and Spotted Dick.

Gene Simmons is right!

I want to see it, now.

With musical guest Jodici!

No, he's the SoCal version of The Situation.

And had three kids with him. Three. Kids.

There a book by Jon Ronson called So You've Been Publicly Shamed that discusses a few people to whom this happened. One was that white woman flying to South Africa, tweeting a tone deaf bad joke about AIDS trying to be snarky, getting off the plane, and realizing that her life was changed forever. Intent should enter…

My name is Shackelford, Rusty Shackelford. I refuse to speak without my attorney present.
[stands, takes off his hat]
I am Mr. Shackelford's attorney, Rusty Shackelford, My client pleads insanity.