I can't decide who I want to lose more.

SEC speed.

Oh, Roy still has a long, long way to go. Most of it in boxcars.

This was an extremely productive twelve minutes:

Apparently you’re not familiar with Title K-IX.

Colin Kapernick should stick to *watches recent game film* uh actually politics and social media

I knew Karlos Williams had a lot of free time these days, but I didn’t realize he had become a Deadspin contributor.

Counter point

Rowing. I would just say “If this thing is so long, why don’t they call it columning??” so much that other rowers would beat me to death with their oars.

Caldwell went on to say, “If not for second chances, I’d never be here making...jeepers, over four million dollars a year? That can’t be right, can it? Me...four million dollars? Damn. ...Anyway, I, uh, second chances are good.”

No. Because the cemetery wouldn’t cough up the $500.00 per rotation fee he wanted.

Good for them. Maybe next time they can hire someone who won’t have such a ridiculous commute.

Rick Trotter was terminated as an employee of Downtown Church.

My sources tell me Goodell heard about the horrible conditions a while ago but waited until he had video proof before making such a drastic move.

What everybody forgets is that the drug testing is for the athletes. They want to make sure nothing harmful gets in their bodies. Now as for you clean athletes, get in the water.

UPDATE: The entire Russian equestrian team has been disqualified as genetic testing shows the horses are actually teacup chihuahuas.

Not elite

I would watch this show if Rick Bayless cohosted 1 day a week to drag Skip about how he never beat him in anything during their childhood and therefore he knows nothing about winning.

In related news, I'm banning hot ladies from hitting on me.

This is going to be a feel good story by the time that the Olympics are over.