I used to play pretty seriously. The rules are simple. The main goal is to achieve “The Queen’s Errand,” or have the most netted balls by the end of the crow’s watch. If the pepper is placed in your path, you have to wheel the cranberry using only the poetic side of your bike. The lines on the court indicate the…

Nick Saban having been MSU’s coach is the most surprising part of this story to me.

The suicide attempt didn’t work, but he was super well rested.

“Isolate the woman, get her away from everyone.”

The Tomb of the Unknown Folder.

[9:21 AM] Burneko: On another note, do you like Guacemole? You’re gonna wanna check out my new Guac recipe. I put watermelon in it, and a bay leaf. It’s outta sight my man.

[9:22AM] Kyle: Fucking go fuck yourself.

I have a shovel that does a similar trick, but it’s a shame that “OH GODDAMMIT OW THAT FUCKING HURT AND CHRIST MY BACK AND JESUS GARY QUIT LAUGHING THIS ISN’T FUCKING FUNNY” song never really took off.

To make things worse, now Jim Carrey thinks he’s going to get autism.

Bruce Springsteen fanboys not on the list? Entire list invalid.

More surface area, more goodness. Your soul will be uplifted; it’s your colon and arteries that will need God’s mercy.

The Lakers weren’t really stunned by this considering Kobe spent the whole meeting making a throat slashing motion.

You only think you’re joking.

you guys i think he thinks basketballs are phones

Love: We’re all on the same page and we’re all in.

That is an insane amount to pay Demarre Carroll. I’m a Mizzou grad, and love Demarre Carroll, but the guy has had one semi-breakout year in a system that perfectly suited his skill set. There is no way he lives up to this contract.