Albert - I have gotten a lot of joy out of your work on this site. Your HitchBot takedown is to this day one of my favorite things I have ever read on the Internet, and your writing is a big part of how I got to be a passionate NBA fan. This piece is all true, and good, and like all of your work, well-written.

Search youtube for the live version, and you shall find what you seek.

Dude (#2). She was fucking somebody else. Get over her and move on.

BaE reads like he wants the chance to break up with her. The comments about how the tables have turned with him being out of her league (to, what, her being out of his league?), and how he needs to confirm he’s out of love with her. I think it’s less about closure, and more about being the one who got dumped.

Christ, after reading that I just might avoid bread altogether.

I REMEMBER THAT! He inhaled bread mold into his nose and it infected his sinuses and yeah, he ended up in a very bad way.  That made me scared to ever touch moldy anything

I need a fecal transplant of a skinny person who can eat whatever they want and not gain weight. Where’s my black market options at? lol

Always remember, don’t fight to raise everyone up, fight to drag everyone down.

I eat cereal like I’ve never seen food before in my life when I eat it with milk. I put a small amount in the bowl, splash it with milk, and ravenously devour it before there is a chance to get soggy. Repeat until I’m in a carb coma.

YES! My husband understands the tweezers hierarchy as:
1. The GOOD tweezers. MY tweezers. They were hand milled in England and were designed to put together dollhouse miniatures. I won’t even tell him where they are.
2. The back-up good tweezers that have been lost for 6 months but I still hold out hope they can be…

I have a spare I can loan him. If you know the guy let me know. This comments section is full of some pretty sanctimonious assholes who have i guess never lived on the margins of the economy.

File footage of the event:

The “farm sequence,” and, arguably the entirety of Ultron is firmly the fault of the writers, not Hawkeye.

Totally underrated.

Standing in front of the opened fridge. Follow by a blast of aerosol whipped cream.

unfortunately any site with more than 3 white people commenting ends up being a “white supremacist website”

Ugh, I just clicked away from that meatloaf article and now I’m mad all over again!

I don’t understand this take at all. How are you supposed to make a meatloaf sandwich without meatloaf?!?

That header image is so strange looking that I honestly thought it was from The Sims or something similar. 

He’s like a more smoldering version of Chris Evans, but I can’t muster up lusty feelings for him out of concern he may share his father’s politics.