That one dude had 21 points scored on him by a literal baby.

I think that's fine.

Guy: Hi my name's Adam.

The funniest I've ever gotten (I'm a straight dude, for context) was "On our first date, I'll carve our initials into a tree. It's the most romantic way I can think of to let you know I have a knife."

My go-to:

I go with the good ol' Seth Rogen special.

How do you like your eggs in the morning over easy or fertilized?

the best lines are on tinderlines.com including my fav "do you like dragons?"

I personally don't care what you want to let hang out, but I don't want to use a seat after someone naked has been sitting on it. One fart and it's a bacterial shitshow. Sorry, went there.

Now we know how he has the unlimited doh for all those fines.

We were together about 5.5 years before we got married. Nothing changed really. We already lived together, so that wasn't a transition. And we don't plan to have kids, so there's none of that added... stuff. The only thing that changed was we got nicer pots and pans (since people bought us gifts).

Binge watching is actually one of my coping mechanisms for my anxiety disorders - I need constant distraction to keep my brain quiet!

I started binge watching tv back in 2012 not too long after my ex left me. I really think it helped me not dwell on being sad or angry, even though I had every right to feel that way. It kept my brain from wandering to feelings I didn't want to deal with.

"See? They all look the same."

I've always wondered: Can you guys (staff and/or other commenters) tell that I give myself stars on all my comments?

I didn't really care who wins on Sunday, but now I don't think I've ever wanted anything more than for Lynch to score 6 touchdowns, grab his crotch after every one, win the MVP, receive the trophy from Goodell and get interviewed on the podium after. IF THERE'S A JUST GOD THIS WILL HAPPEN.

I got my first child sexual abuse case today. I've been very depressed about it all day. And then I get home and read this. I can't even. I'm just glad I'm not at the branch handling this case because it's literally the worst thing I've ever heard.

I tried the same tactic while appearing at traffic court the other day.

Yeah, I used to comment here all the time too, but it ends up taking over my whole life, so now I just post a comment once in a blue moon, with burners. I couldn't help responding to you, having been on both sides of what you're going through! (Actually, three sides: another ex was horribly jealous and controlling; it…

I bet you don't own a TV and are happy to tell people that.