I would like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to one of our greatest cultural treasures, Nihilist Lisa Frank. http://nihilisa-frank.tumblr.com/

Right? And “I didn’t want to be a zoophile. I was trying to do everything I could to avoid this animal”? How hard could it possibly be to avoid a fucking dolphin?! Just because an animal humps your leg does not mean it’s cool for you, a human, to have sex with it. That’s not how it works.

she was intellectually pretty much my equal.

I just love it when, after a lifetime of searching, a person finds their porpoise in life.

Oh, very strong, loosen up bitch

If you want to believe in some religious stuff then it is no problem for me, up until the point where you use that belief to deny rights and service to others based on that belief. Your rights end where another person’s rights begin.

I’m big too, and I can laugh at myself. It’s not self hating, but what I see in the mirror and scale. Why be so PC about someone who talks shady crap about orhers?

Who cares aobut productive, she’s a nag who was on a tacky reality show. Her views aren’t mine, so why not speak up with a little shade.

Where is the line between saying someone’s identity is a poor choice and advocating differential treatment of them in a political climate where their rights are being legislated against? Does she think she should be able to hire or rent to people on a differential basis based on how she was raised? It’s not clear from…

That panda is a sadistic serial killer of the first degree.

My company went into a licensing agreement with Lisa Frank on 2011. Twelve years later I still recount the stories as some of the most bizarre business situations I’ve ever been in. Thank you for sharing the craziness with the rest of the world Jezebel- I often wondered how the whole thing turned out!

That is perfect.

I am naming my band Rainbow Gulag and our first album will be called "Pandas Never Put Their Eyebrows Down".

Silly Koalas! So full of themselves, thinking they're all that. Next it'll be 'The Tree-Dwellers Formally Know as Koalas.' :P

DUN DUN DUN!!!!

I didn't know that Lisa Frank was a real person...I thought she was made up like Betty Crocker. Fascinating article.

haha yes! They could have a Lisa Frank design challenge, since you know Lifetime loves it's cross marketing!

Anyone here ever play Adult Swim Games' "Robot Unicorn Attack?" (the original, not the in-app-purchase nightmare of a sequel)?

It's an amazing love-letter/brutal-skewering of the whole Lisa Frank aesthetic, but I never understood why, of all possible pop-culture targets, they went with it for their game.

Now I'm…

This was brilliantly written. Bets on how long until Tracie is headhunted from Jezebel? This was probably one of the best researched and articulated stories I've read on here and that's being said by someone who has been reading Jez since its beginnings.

I think the fact that she started out by ordering native craftspeople to produce what she wanted and selling them at a profit was.... maybe an early indicator that she wasn't going to be the worlds greatest employer. :/