Thank you for your service.

I highly recommend it! Put pillows on the floor.

I didn’t know she is Canadian. I am also Canadian (dual citizenship). I will kick her ass just for making both Canadians and New Yorkers look bad.

I’m insulted! I went for 40 minutes without stopping. My apple watch recorded it.

I started the bottle talking to my cousin after the non-verdict. I finished the bottle talking to my niece. I then felt my super powers recharging, so I pulled out the little tramp.

The reason Trump said nothing about the McTurtle’s neck is because he himself has a shaved vagina neck and didn’t want what bounces off of Rubber McTurtle to stick on him.

Girl I was so buzzed I bounced.

She should start packing her bags for Oregon or Utah.

Good. I hope everybody that was in any way a victim sues the fuck out of all of them.

You think this cracker will ever understand that NO ONE TAKES HIM SERIOUSLY ANYMORE? He is just Donny’s assclown. What does the Don hold over Graham?

I have a relative that would say the old rhyme: “Made in the shade, stirred with a spade, that’s lemonade!” and as a kid I was thinking, why would they use a shovel to make lemonade? It wasn’t until I was an adult and heard them say it that I realized she had it wrong: it wasn’t ‘stirred with a spade,’ it was ‘stirred …

It is my opinion that the N-word doesn’t belong in a white person’s mouth, even if you’re reading Huck Finn out loud. We know better.

Referring to ‘the ghetto’ is what’s called ‘the soft bigotry of low expectations.’

Here’s a question: How the fuck would white people know how to vet a fellow white person for anti-Black racism?

:: runs to store to buy some Gorilla Glue ::

My number 1 stupid  muthafukka moment of the day

If my childhood in Detroit had a soundtrack, the Supremes would be the stars. One of my earliest memories is standing in front of my Pattengill Elementary kindergarten class with two friends miming “Stop, in the Name of Love.”

Excuse me, but I don’t need a man to follow through on that threat.

My father rocked a do-rag in the 60's, and y’all with your ready-made durags don’t know how lucky you have it.