The problem is that her hair on the show makes her look like Michael Cera. I'm sorry if you can't unsee it. She's a very pretty girl, and he's not half bad either.

Exactly. The tattoos are fine. The face of a kid, not so much.

Yeah?

*ducks behind protective computer screen*

He should just quit being Justin Bieber and let her do it. Then we'd like him. Her.

he got hot, like, objectively? but he's SUCH A PUKESTAIN that it's not there.

Justin Bieber is cute. He could be sexy if he wasn't Justin Bieber. That is the problem. So, yes, it is not sexy.

I would assume you rinse it out thoroughly first?

I am a card-carrying vagina owner, and I like to think that menstrual blood doesn't phase me, but I draw the line at putting Diva Cups in the dishwasher.

well, the alternative headline could've run "MAN DIES FROM DIRTY DILDO INFECTION" so the house seems a small price to pay

I had a coworker who chronically overshared her marital woes with me. And so I learned about "the incident."
Her husband had trouble in the erection department and for health reasons couldn't take the usual meds. So they went with a strap on, which she found to be too cold and so decided to microwave it - for FIVE…

I don't understand, why is he boiling them? Am I supposed to be boiling all the various sex sanctioned items? I mean hot water and Dial is fine? Is it not? Is my vagina going to fall out?

I CALL DIBS. "Flamin' Dildo" is now my band name

This reminds me of the famous Onion article, "Marilyn Mansion Now Going Door-to-Door Trying to Shock People."

That evening, Linda Schmidt was preparing to drive her daughter Alyssa to a Girl Scouts meeting when she found Manson standing on her porch draped in sheep entrails.

Two things:

These aren't really that batshit. They're more like quotes from a person who wants to really appear to be batshit. Marilyn Manson was appealing to me when I was 14, but it's been a long time since then.

i waffle on my opinion of him