I hate how true this is. You can't get engaged without someone else in your friend group's relationship having a bit of a blowup over it, because we all compare too much.

The men who "meet" a woman by herself waiting at a busstop in a rough part of town in the middle of the night are bit of a self-selecting crowd, because decent guys leave her the heck alone, which is what makes the bus driver the most standout topic here because he was the one who could have been a decent guy and had…

I don't really consider a bus driver a "corrupt authority figure" I consider him a common person. I haven't heard average people laughing off murder or wanting to shake murderers hands. Maybe you have, that'd be a different culture than I'm used to for sure. Corrupt people behaving badly across the board falls under…

Even if it was a less reliably scary area, jumping to the conclusion juerme did is the exact definition of rape culture.

I think people making accusations like that and silencing those who have experienced extreme things like this is a self fulfilling prophecy. Because you throw shit at it every time you hear it, you keep people from speaking up. Even when you say "I will give her the benefit of the doubt" you do so explicitly in order…

But I thought rape culture was supposed to be a myth!

I am SO weirded out by dads who focus on their daughters' sexuality like that. It's really creepy to me, like, why are they thinking about it so much?

I've known many men who actively mislead women regarding their intentions to commit… BUT a) the veil is so thin there that any woman with a decent amount of trust in her own instincts sees through it, so if you're deceived by them it's most likely because you want to be, and b) the more convincing ones seem to be so…

yeah I had a bit of a squicky feel about daughter replacing mom, etc. too.

no, for god's sake, talk about the issues! But just toss out the "Beyonce's not a real feminist because…" bits. Let it be a piece of art and culture that prompted a discussion about broader issues, rather than debating one woman's life choices, privilege or lack thereof, etc.

Even with the rest of us lowly commoners, it can drive you crazy if you hold one specific life up to "feminist ideals" in every action. You can be a feminist but want a baby, or not be personally ok with abortion, or want to take your husband's last name, or happen to want to be a kindergarten teacher (or some other…

It sounds like he's gotten caught in the trap where he doesn't know how to separate race from culture—it's ok to acknowledge cultural differences, but necessary to realize that not everyone of the same skin color is automatically a part of the same culture.

I think this is one of those tail-chaser issues, because I when the joke is glorifying rape it is not funny. Ergo, funniness level can be used as a litmus test of how wrong it is.

I guess when I'm using it in a neutral way I'm actually talking about size (large, big, etc) vs body composition (fat, vs. you know muscle or leanness or whatever). So "fat" to me does inherently carry another level of information that is a conversation about body composition that I don't usually want to get into with…

that's just so many layers of shit right there… she must be doing that on purpose, right? But what message is she trying to send with it?

I find that if I need to use the word 'fat' it's usually self-disparaging versus descriptive. If it's a point that needs made, other words usually communicate it fine without all the feels that surround fat. Like if I'm making a point about fashion, I can say "I'm a bigger girl, I need a bigger print" for example.

I'm not sure that I agree with that. They use those same magazines to sell clothing, beauty products, run articles on exercise routines and diets, going to far as to specifically associate by listing what makeup and clothes the cover model is wearing, titling these features things like "get the look!" On one level…

I do this to photos of buildings all the time, and can see the same logic applied with people. We'll edit out a powerline that gets in the way of the shot, because yes the power line exists but it's really not the point or part of the story we're trying to tell, and it distracts people. We'll photoshop out a bit of…

I hate that we're required to feel that guilt, and express that guilt at socially appropriate intervals. Like if we aren't feeling badly about ourselves we're not good people? Which is a bit of a tail-chaser in itself.

WRT #1: can institutionalized poverty in any area fall under the spirit of this?