Kaare Vedvik? Daniel Carlson? The Vikings know they don’t have to pick actual vikings, right?

Because she’s chained up in his basement 

This is the old man I strive to become.  Has empathy, but not without enjoying the absurdity of life. Also I would like to own a hat

If we HAVE to stand for a specific song, and HAVE to put our hands on our hearts or risk getting jacked are we really free?

it would absolutely whip ass if this guy was eaten alive by a bear or something

Oh sure it looks bad, but that's only because you put exactly what they said into print with the appropriate amount of context around it to get across exactly what they were trying to say!

“Also, please disable your ad blocker so we can slow down your experience with these [I shit you not] 71 ads on this page.”

They can find his dad?

If this had happen during the Montreal portion of the Rays season, it would have been even more confusing because it would have all been in metric.

He’s right about people in general, not just golfers. They don’t think ahead while in line. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in a TSA security line and half the people walk up to the podium and only then start pulling out their ID and boarding pass. Or they don’t get out the credit card at the store until all…

LeBatard is one of the most consistent, entertaining voices at ESPN. Suspending him would only confirm and reinforce everything he said. 

Mattingley’s sideburns are still too long. 

Is that graphic a reasonable reference, though? I mean, sure, for inside/outside calls, but high/low? I’m not so sure.

Kenan Thompson: [Nervously chuckles to mask regret for offering to sell soul to get on SNL]

I will argue that Bush never came off as anything but a personable guy who was way in over his head. This is not a matter for discussion about his actions in office or anything like that, so no one even start with this shit.

Jimmy Fallon is the George W. Bush of comedy -- no matter how much he proves how completely terrible and inept he is, his constant reward is higher and higher positions.

Jimmy Fallon is a hack that nearly ruined every good SNL skit that he was inexplicably included in.  He is insufferable and every night I say a silent prayer for every teacher who had to put up with his spastic crap when he was a kid

The one thing I’ll say about Ray Ratto is he looks like a grizzled cop who’s too old for this shit and probably doesn’t even read Deadspin

It’s just you.

Adam Silver looks like the lead in the Disney live action remake of the American Gothic painting.