Oh, Youklis.

I wonder how many Stalin bases he has this year?

Don't be that guy.

You need better memories dude.

New examples of completely predictable behavior by someone raised by a helicopter parent in a bubble to do exactly one thing really well.

It’s not effective when you replace the spacers of water between beers with Jack Daniels.

The check thing makes sense to me. He didn’t want to be liked for his money. That’s how I read that.

This is sad.

“Hey, this guy just called me ‘Ruth’s Chris.’”

...Johnny Jonathan...

Cool! Next time I want to call someone 'a real, raging, insufferable dick', I'll just call them a 'Johnny Jonathan'.

And still a dickhead.

Officials became suspicious when he punctuated a drive in the lane by yelling, “You Millennials are entitled.... to getting dunked on!”

I’d criticize school staff for not seeing through the ruse, but in all fairness, nobody’s ever met a 30-year-old from South Sudan.

Fuck you, Deadspin. Greg Oden deserves a 4th (5th?) shot.

30 year olds pretending to be 17? Mark Sanchez has finally found a loophole.

Man, people suck sometimes. Everyone’s so eager to call this man a cheater when there’s a decent chance he’s just really stupid.

Luckily for Carlson, it was accidental, which means he cannot be suspended (per NHL guidelines made up just this morning).

Nice one, Leno.