As much as I love you Jen, I blame YOU for the term "MILF" and its deplorable descendant "cougar." And not even your truly magnificent cleavage can make up for that.

So reading that second paragraph, I just realized I don't know any models anymore. As a kid, I was obsessed with the George Michael Freedom video supes—to the point I made collages and collected Vogue covers. Now, Chanel Iman could walk into my office and I would have no idea who she was.

@koniki: A question for the ages. It's like Leelee Sobieski and Helen Hunt.

I'm a little in love with the lady in the background. In addition to her JLotastic hoop earrings and funky beaded bracelets, her expression is all "who is this broad and why is she worth taking a picture of?"

That is hands-down the most bizarre thing I've ever read. And kind of awesome. Especially the beauty farm that apparently feeds you steaks in butter?

I just like that Japan has a "best known" Buddhist nun.

@stealthird: Oh dear, I'm so sorry!

I know Justinbobby, and you sir are no Justinbobby.

@AthertonMerriweather: I thought the same thing! I honestly think Tyra believes that smiling with your eyes can cure cancer and end wars.

@emsigh_the_second: Kate's 5'7", I think. And one of the reasons she was so notable when she emerged onto the scene was because she was so much shorter than the average model.

My heart bleeds for Alaska's PR. It used to seem so beautiful and mysterious. Now it seems like a breeding ground for pretty girls of below-average intelligence who can only talk about how folksy it is.

Eh, I don't really like his Barack. Maybe Barack just isn't as easy to imitate as, say, Bill Clinton or George Bush? I love me some Poehler, but I didn't think Hillary was all that easy to mime either.

Funny, all of my angsty teenage baggage was internal.

@lindsayt: I'd never heard that. Explains A LOT about me, though. (See: constant weight struggle and a designer handbag addiction.)

@gold_gato: I don't know about you all, but when my bf kisses me in public, I usually don't break out the O-face. (And yes, my O-face involves a Joker-like smile. And no, you all didn't need to know this.)

And in the background, three women turn to stone at the sight of his pube-beard.

@Jessi Ramsey: Which I happened to think was the greatest moment in television history...UNTIL just about every moment on last night's episode.

@bananastand: Totally! I was just comparing some decision to Sophie's Choice last night, and my (super educated and brilliant) bf was like, "what's that?"

The ONE night I have plans! Thanks for nothin', losers.

I know, I know, I'm disappointed in myself too for marrying an "I Love NY" reject...