The whole “wet sugar mess” catfish was so hilariously cringy.
The coach teaches “bell to bell” and pronounces biology “bio-logy”
“It’s quotas.”
“One time I set her purse on fire.” “I lost a lot of cash, like a hundred dollars.”
“You’re not the boss of me!” “That’s literally my job description.”

Some Minnesota teachers have recently tied their stalled negotiations and decrease in school funding to local tax breaks for corporations.

And rightly so.

Careful now or they’ll send you to one of those FEMUR detention camps

Clearly you are attempting to be humerus in your description of The President of the United States.

Positive.

I was sobbing from when she started crying at the door I think (pretty sure that was the first time we see her crying) to the iPhone switch to the end. Just utter perfection.

nooooooo! I barfed on a plane once and it was the worst!

These are the kinds of fresh, inventive, and super edgy comments that really make Deadspin such an amazing place.

“Watch hundreds of young Japanese amateurs get creamed by three pros.”

Non story. The only reason she was spotted under a highway underpass was simply because she was trying to get an interview with Johnny Manziel.

FUCKING LEGEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VVD SCORES THE GAME WINNER IN HIS DEBUT!!!!!!!

Also, holy christ did he look the business.

Try the SEC! They only have about three names there. It’s like a wedding in eastern Tennessee.

Such was the case just prior to that when Northwestern beat Kentucky in the Music City Bowl. Wildcats win!! And Lose!

Should have heard the color guy tripping over his own words everytime he referred to the “Wildcats” in the Northwestern-Kentucky game earlier in the day...

Today Aggies beat the Aggies AND the Wildcats beat the Wildcats!

I can’t wait for Monday’s game between the Alabama Gamecocks and the Clemson Gamecocks! It’s sure to be a ‘Cock fight!

I’m 100% with you, since bowl games are ultimately meaningless unless you’re in the playoffs, let’s at least do this. Match up schools by mascots or initial matching; anything to make it more confusing.

If I’m not mistaken, in Barry Sanders’ last year, the Oklahoma State Cowboys played the Wyoming Cowboys. The Cowboys won.

Wildcats over Wildcats in Music City Bowl today as well.

The SWAT officer who pulled the trigger is to blame. The person who called the fake incident into the police is to blame. The person who passed along the victim’s address is to blame.