Header image man makes me furiously masturbate...

breathtaking authorship. I truly enjoyed reading this and am buying your book NOW.

same with gluten. processing a lot of anything complex bogs down your metabolism. Body = squishy machine. People always say, "Oh I cut out gluten and I lost SO much weight!" No, dear, you started paying attention to what you eat for the first time and you lost SO much weight. let's be clear.

No, I was going to pretend to give a shit about your thoughts on the matter. Changed my mind.

Yeah, I'm not really going to do this with you.

That gets said a lot, and IMHO it's totally and completely wrong. Apple is not known for innovation, it's known for elevating new ideas to near-perfection. They didn't invent the mouse, they perfected it. They didn't invent the pseudo-desktop GUI, they perfected it. They didn't invent the MP3 player, they…

Good thing! Because that isn't the argument Evan McM. made.

literally, word for word, my argument when people ask me why I "still" have an iPhone. I don't need more, I need better. Reminds me of a line from Absolutely Fabulous, "I don't want more choice I just want nicer things!" LOL

you're completely right, don't listen to the haters.

Whoa man, whoa. Pizza in ranch dressing is perfectly normal.

I also could have written it myself. I'm 29. It got better for me after to lowest lows at like 19-20 and faded away around 24. It gets better. It's normal to feel totally lost and without tools, and, in the words of one of my favorite movies, "It's normal for things to be shitty."

I think occasionally about the fact that I live near a big ass volcano. It scares the crap out of me. But I still live here because it's a beautiful place. Really, does anyone make life decisions that way?

I sold my personal PC to a lady who worked in HR for the first job I ever had, with a porn DVD in the drive. I luckily left that job relatively shortly after that, and I never spoke to her again.

uh, I literally think we might work at the same place. Do you live in Seattle?

if you ask a marketeer, the term for places like that is "Fast Casual." Usually there's no drive-thru to speak of, and the ingredients list reads like stuff you'd find in your fridge instead of stuff you'd find in the garbage cans outside some DARPA research facility.

anyone who spends more than $14.99 on a rice cooker is a patent idiot.

Yep. I'm leaving for French Polynesia today, in part now because I'm afraid some of the best places, like Fakarava, won't be around much longer.

I... I think I'm in love with you...

I did. He didn't. Link please?

YES! OMG I can't believe you guessed.