Commentator, in crisp English accent: Folks at home may be asking themselves, “How will he finish?” And, well, Depends.

And now he’s going to be disqualified for having the runs.

I have the same gait when I have to poop.

Just a well executed squeeze play in the ball park.

This looks more like a foul tip to me.

I’d like to thank the Chargers for eternally eating shit, giving me Sundays back, and allowing me to conveniently boycott the NFL without missing out on anything other than Phil Rivers screaming hillbillyisms at some special teamer on the sideline.

A bronzed god with silver hair issues forth a golden shower.

When you started writing this post the trucks were blue weren’t they?

You’re not too far off from Minnesota Math. This is the same state and government that thought e-pulltabs was going to solve all of their problems funding the new stadium.

I believe e-pulltabs up to date have generated $7.42 in revenue....

You sir, are a pure genius. (Minnesota resident who still can’t believe the total cost...)

Like a frightened turtle.

I have an appendage that does the same thing, usually at the most inopportune times.

I believe 164 BCE was also the last time a Buffalo sports team was in the playoffs.

From swimming in meets to swimming in meat.

+1 hop

I preemptively feel bad for whoever his cutoff man will be.

Where do you store your valuables near Copacabana Beach?

Darth Wader

“Fencing! Why didn’t I think of that!” —Andre Maginot