I haven’t seen a beating in Boston like that since Mark Wahlberg blinded that guy while committing multiple hate crimes.

It’ll be that Anakin didn’t really hate sand.

So I have a couple of pet peeves. One of them is when people say (usually in a sports context) something like “if he wouldn’t have thrown that interception, his team would have won.” No. No. If he HADN’T thrown that interception. This misuse of the conditional tense is extremely common.

Pictured: Derek Jeter fantasy meal.

“Its racism” - Kevin Bacon after tasting the bag of peanuts.

Imagine taking (Tom) Brady’s intellect... and putting it on a guy with Cam Newton’s body.

Last time a Kizer talked this big, the rest of us got drafted.

Hack Your Juicero With This One Weird Trick

You gotta admit, the change from carrying the helmets to wearing them is probably a net positive.

I hear they didn’t even have a basketball ring at the Holocaust Center.

Tony LaRussa’s influence on the team is really starting to show if they’ve been done in by a Giant pitcher.

This reminds me of the book A Supposedly Fundido Thing I’ll Never Do Again, by David Lobster Wallace.

Having spent 7 years working in a steakhouse, I can attest that there are exactly two kinds of adults who eat steak like this:

i invited you. you had your chance. and now you’re sitting there writing passive aggressive blogs. we had a great time eating sheep dick and ram eyes on the rim of a frozen volcano that smelled like hellpoop! i’ve never seen so many “j’s” and “k’s” in my life! there was a man playing an instrument with strings that…

Can St. Louis Piazza even really be considered Piazza?

Man, why is Deadspin covering bullshit like this. What about sports? Why can’t we have a “Best QB’s of the 80's” post? Like remember Warren Moon?

When it comes to football team mascots destroying kids, no one did it better than Joe Paterno.