Let’s just all agree to never read anything Simmons writes ever again. Deal?

I read this article and my first thought was, “Oh man, I hope the Bears can hire Belichick!”

sick burn bruh

Look y’all - Curt Schilling can choke on some balls and Mike Mussina is about as interesting as a bag of sand, but both of them obviously belong in the Hall of Fame.

Next time you post, just say “I don’t understand how probabilities work.” You’ll come off as more intelligent than you do here.

Truly excellent.

It’s basically the manifestation of the most usable line in movie history: “You’re not wrong, Walter - you’re just an asshole.”

Fun fact: Steve Goodman, the man who wrote “You Never Even Called Me By My Name,” also wrote “Go Cubs Go.”

We had one at my last job, and I thought it was great for both drip coffee and lattes. I mean, I would not pay $4k for one, but it was damned good coffee.

The Bears will be favored maybe once in their first 9 games. I think 6 wins is a big stretch. But I’m excited too!

Having Bran around really makes logical narrative reveals tough.

I for one welcome our new rat overlords.

Fair, but looking at that photo:
1. The angle
2. Not sure that’s a woman

Part of it is the talent/speed chasm.

The 10th inning was a giant derpfest all around. I approve.

I went to Illinois, and I would say the main football rivals are Northwestern and Iowa, but neither rivalry rises to the level of even, say, Wisconsin-Minnesota.

Indiana’s state motto (or nickname?) is “The Crossroads of America.” The state is literally acknowledging that the primary reason to go there is so that you can decide to go anywhere else.

The key phrase is “with no preparation.” Because of this, I say “dunk” because it requires only height and gross motor skills.

Can we stop calling this “doxxing”? Doesn’t that imply that the target is seeking to keep their identity secret? These people either don’t care if people know who they are or they don’t know how the internet works. Either way, they deserve it.

It’s “Ringo.” Fuckin’ millenials...