Oh, so that’s Steffi Graf next to him? That makes sense. I couldn't work out why J K Rowling was there.

My high-flyin’ sister met the head of Subway in the UK at a business thing and asked him “Have you tasted bread?” he responded “Yeah, you’re not really our target customer”.

The lovely story of my parents’ first meeting: My future Dad approaches my future Mum and her friend at the rugby club dance and notes they are drinking a then-popular mix of strong lager and cordial (it was the 70s).

FD: Export and lime, eh girls? What are you having next?
FM: Guinness and grapefruit. Piss off, shorty.

O…

The part where they downloaded police band apps to their phones is the part where I would have used one of said phones to call the police and said "Hi, this is the games store near where all you guys are. Is there something up? What should we be doing?"

But whoever caused this should get ten years easily.

He'd have to stand for leader of a major party and have enough MPs to command the confidence of the house, as we don't elect a Prime Minister directly. Mayor of London might be an idea, but it's a lot of work for a tenth of the money he's used to. As an individual, any celebrity will almost always have more power and…

Controlling the escape pod when the whole thing ejects to escape from backers who want their money back.

Counter-saying: "Any fool can be uncomfortable"

The full weird timeline is:

GI Joe gets licensed to Takara as 'Combat Joe' -> They then produce a spin-off called Henshin Cyborg -> To save costs, they shrink them to make 'Microman', (which gets sold in the West as Micronauts) ->Microman toys get incorporated into G1 Transformers.

Every time I catch Murder She Wrote, I am compelled to watch it until I recognise somebody that's been on Star Trek.

It's the same with Midsomer Murders and Doctor Who.

Hang on, you grind their bones to make your bread? Are you up the top of a blocky beanstalk?

How about "You don't need to change your driving or do anything when it snows"? That's mainly the problem here in the UK where, if you notice, ALL the photos of crashed/idiot drivers are from.

Seriously, we don't regularly get snow, and it's rarely bad, but we make up for it.

I study Nuclear Pokémon
I love my classes
I got a crazy Professor
He wears dark glasses

Scotland's just lowered the limit to 0.05%, so the top half of Great Britain should be more lilac-y.

This is all interesting stuff, but as I'm British there is only one friendship classification - Friends Who Get Their Round In.

Neither people who love the Royals nor people who who hate them really understand their function. They're the people that stop us being precious dicks about our flag or anthem, and prevent even having to have something as silly as a written constitution to cling to. "What, you have, like, super-laws that were made up…

Okay, but Kamek's still just a dick, right?

Normally, I don't think that the BBC should give in to ultimatums from its stars, but in this case...

Terry Nation came up with the concept as a freelance writer. Ray Cusick came up with the design as a BBC employee. The BBC didn't pay for the rights to the concept, so the Nation estate owns those, with the BBC owning the design.