No one with working eyes is a fan of Bart Sears

Kim Jong-un is grateful there’s at least one world leader whose hairdo is worse than his own.

I’d venture that it’d be more unusual for a world leader who DOESN’T mock Trump. I bet even Putin goofs on the dumbass.

When Malcolm Turnbull is roasting you, you may need to rethink your life choices.

HAHAHA OH GOD PLEASE LET’S HAVE A WORLD LEADERS ROAST OF TRUMP AFTER HE GETS IMPEACHED. Macron, Merkel, Turnbull, Trudeau, hell let’s invite everyone. It’ll be like the Olympics, only only one night and there’s only one event: roasting the shit out of a disgraceful asshole.

But also, what if she did want to go home and have sex with him, and changed her mind when she saw his doll collection or something? The idea that if we start down a path with a man we can’t change our minds is fucking gross. If I start eating a pizza and hate it, do I need to keep going? Do you shove it into my mouth…

People love to hate on Elgort, but there are many positive things about him. He’s six-four, for one.

I have a confession to make:

I know he was going for “passion” there but it reads more like “painful anal”.

It would actually suck to have all that money and mild success and yet STILL be so naturally unlikable.

Ansel is what happens when a complete dork has been told he’s awesome all his life because he’s cute, so now he believes he is awesome and that creates what I like to call The Douche Matrix™, where one’s ego grows irrationally large relative to one’s actual talent.

Chickens are the best.

... and smoking a joint the size of a baby’s arm.

Don’t think of it as a turning point. Enjoy it as a chance to sabotage the Republican agenda. We might be tired but imagine how exhausted they are defending this.

HAPPY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY, YOU AMBIENT PILE OF SHED ORANGUTAN HAIR.

The WaPo story says they are veering into an investigation of his finances. Which, quite frankly, is something the feds should have been doing the second he got in the race out of second nature.

Best comment: “Mueller’s team includes people who successfully prosecuted mafia gangsters.

Here, have some vomit.

It’s like loving an addict.

I’m just so, so tired of getting my hopes up lol.