(writing old-man letter to the editor entitled FRUIT OF THE POISONOUS TREE)

This is what happens after years of spaying and neutering.

I wouldn’t fuck a vampire, but imagine how much fun 69ing this guy would be...

I HAVE THE SAME THING HAPPEN TO ME, EXCEPT THE TSA AGENT SAID I WOULDN’T FIT THROUGH THE NUDE SCANNER (OR ELSE THEY JUST DIDN’T WANT TO SEE WHAT I WAS PACKING) SO THEY BROUGHT ME OVER FOR A PAT DOWN. THEY SAID IT WAS OPTIONAL BUT I’M NOT A FUCKING TERRORIST AND I SAID IT WAS A PRIVILEGE TO TAKE PART IN THE SECURITY…

Eh. The guy’s a good guy, and if I, a Cleveland Indians fan, can endure the high David Ross exposure levels, so can you.

Is he a pederast, a racist, or a flat-earther? No? Then let him strike while the iron’s hot. Mazel tov.

He’s humble, a really nice guy, and was a great teammate. Nah he fully deserves all this attention. If you don’t like it or can’t stand it, go sit on a cactus instead of writing another article about him LOL idiot.

If 2017 goes down only as “The Year of David Ross” instead of something more inevitably hellish it will have been a good year.

The Cardinals lost their 20th game.

I had no idea Drew liked golf so much.

Sweet? Science??

“There were a grand total of zero immaculate innings between Lefty Grove’s on September 27th, 1928 and Billy Hoeft’s on September 7th, 1953.”

“Makes good contact here.”

The biggest mystery in all of this: can’t Curt Schilling afford to buy better seats?

Do you think management at ESPN had to specifically tell the NFL (MLB, NHL) insiders like Shefter, etc to NOT BE 1st on Twitter of their fellow ESPNers’ firings (lay-offs whatever)? They live to be “1st” on Twitter for that kind of shit, but some of these people have cubicles right next to the insider’s office (I…

Wow. Even in leaving Kannell’s tweet stands out from the rest for its dickishness. I’ve been laid off after a move before, too. But... ya know?... read the tone of your colleagues before being a dick on social media as TV personality...

MLB Network should grab Jayson Stark RIGHT NOW.

Whenever my kids ask for it I call it Papa Troll, annoys the hell out of them which makes me feel better :)

Fuck Turnip. Seriously, just what the fuck.

Aight, here’s the thing: what if your hoppin’ John is better than the one that somebody’s grandmama brought? What you gonna do then? What’s anybody gonna do? It’s gonna be weird, is what. Why even put the whole cookout in that situation?