Whatever, I’m outta heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere

Thanks for getting that god awful 1-877-Kars4kids jingle stuck in my head. First thing in the morning too! 

I feel like a golden opportunity was missed to discuss his big nut energy?

Ya’ll are fucking nuts.

Your scientific fact check can’t stop Louie from dipping his balls in it.

If you’re going to be weak and bring chips and dip, you could at least crack a can of Ro-Tel and mix it with some Velveta.

Also, the last thing I want to eat is this guys dry mac and cheese.

The garden is nice and all, but it’s just not the same unless there’s a kid I can torment by stealing his glasses, chasing him into a phone booth, and making him buy back his own toy from a mean shopkeeper.

I have a leak of the production version, including the controlling AI and sponsorship deal.

Seriously how many times is investment capital going to invent the bus?

The constant erasure of women and poc that support Sanders is really interesting to watch. 

It’s pretty difficult to square this practice with a mindset of reducing waste. We’ve just turned an easily reusable item of value into a one-time-use piece of garbage, depending on how much you trust your local disposal company’s recycling abilities.

And a medium double double, he’s looking a little rough coming off that WestJet.

Mindy St. Claire’s is so definitely butter pecan. When I was growing up for family birthdays my mother always bought butter pecan as a compromise to everyone’s specific ice cream requests. The joke being of course that no one requested butter pecan. It’s the absolute platonic ideal of Medium Place ice cream.

I love Star Trek Replicator Error, but I’m certain that a few people are going to get, say Vanilla mixed with Chocolate and start an online Twitter campaign complaining about how B&J are using their “cheap” flavors in STRE.

If a “better option nearby” is Sbarro then something is off with Mr McGrady’s two star rating cuz that, my friend, is a two star pizza place.

THANKS, I HATE IT

It galling to think that this kid running the twitter account is being paid some ungodly amount for a dead-end, vanity presidential campaign, while Castro is sitting at home on his couch watching the debate.

Quality is everywhere but most industries only believe in quality from one demographic.

CEO Spanfeller, a G/O-class herbcraft carrier.

“BILLIE EILISH JUST MUMBLES TOO QUIETLY AND I DON’T UNDERSTAND MUSIC TODAY.” -All the fucking boomers.