You start one Martian Sex Colony and all the sudden you’re “colluding with America’s enemies.”

It’s still apt, regardless of context.

Probably my favorite non sequitur ever on Deadspin

Damn this new Kinja flow. Time to put it in the right one.

Wrong article, but it bore repeating anyway.

the jurors for this case are going to be paid more than SB Nation site managers

Spring is a lie. There are two days of spring and it was always during finals week.

Some day, one of you assholes will pen the correct take, which is this: Spring is actually the real cunt of the season family.

Fuck the beach. The beach is the fucking worst. You know who goes to the beach? Miserable fucking people go to the beach, to pretend that they’re not miserable fucking people.

And I can sleep with the windows open, and cook somewhere other than the grill, and eat hot soups,

You don’t need to shit in Albert’s coffee anymore. Fall is here, so it’s likely Pumpkin Spice flavored. The job is done already.

I laughed during that scene because that plot line (as written this season) did not earn this ending at all. Good surprises and twists are when a character does something you don’t expect but in hindsight makes sense for the presented character psychology. Bad surprises are when things happen because the writers and…

R.I.P. Mayor Carcetti.

As editor in chief of Splinter, I must state that Splinter does not endorse Hamilton Nolan’s views about the eclipse. I do, however, support him emotionally.

when exactly did max kellerman become what jon stewart thinks he looks like?

ummm, because it’s owned by rupert murdoch and therefore just part of a propaganda machine that perpetuates white supremacy?

Wait, this isn’t a Marchman article? GTFO

Damn.

Samer, I thought you hated barstool sports?

Since he seems litigious, I’ll just call him a “genocide aficionado”.