While incubating her latest bastard child, the Abstinence Queen Bristol Palin takes time to scold the President of the United States. How quaint.

Chimps are great apes. Monkeys have tails, apes do NOT. Fix that headline. It’s an insult to us hairless apes...

I can’t sleep without my feline friends with me. So I am happy and wash the sheets way more often.

I’m a nurse. I know the places where shots hurt the most. LOL

I have been there. Not as much Big Bone Licking as advertised...

I work in a nursing home. I have this obnoxious woman who complains at every meal that “I can’t eat this crap.” I was in a mood and relied “You’re lucky you aren’t eating boiled log in syria...’

36 years later, I still think he could have done better than me. And even as a bride, I was never pretty.

Republican Women: Proud to be ‘Women Who Hate Poor Women’.

YES. Oh, HELL yes! And make a lemon egg butter sauce for them. Sounds SO good. The phillo is so hard to work with but so good. It’s great hot and great cold. Spinach Pie RULES!

What is your Quest? What is your favorite color? WHAT is the air-speed velocity of a coconut-laden swallow??

Never go Hitchiking without your Towel.

Nope,nope,nope,nope,nope,nope, nooooooooooooooooo..................

Joe the Poo-Poohead is a bad word saying guy. Naughty! Jesus will get you for that!

You had me at ‘feta’...

I love Prince. Even if he’s giving me the ‘Iccky’ face!

When my daughter was in 6th grade, she lost 2 classmates to illness. She was devastated. The first boy died of encephalitis suddenly. Then, less than 2 months later, a dear girl who had been fighting cancer for 2 years passed away after her brain cancer persisted.When you are 11 years old, life seems forever. My girl…

My mother hated the idea of funerals. She always said she wanted no funeral because they were a waste. She made sure of it by joining a crematory society. Her body went directly to them after she donated her usable tissues for Gift of Life. So we had a party that next summer and we all had a lovely time. No drama. And…

My dad died suddenly at the age of 53. It was very sad, and my dad was by no means religious. We had no church and we figured that maybe the funeral home could get a pastor to say a few prayers for us. They agreed and called up a guy they knew. Well, the dude was super old and seemed kinda slow. The music stopped and…

In my 30 years as a nurse, I deal with much the same customer service. There are people who take advantage of kindness, and those who try to make my job a little easier. I get people who demand that I do this and that because I get paid way too much for drinking coffee all day. (!) I don’t even have time to pee and…

My husband hates ID too. He says I just watch to get Ideas. Yes, I learned a lot about ‘Perfect Murders’. I have the old man where I want him now... Bwahahahahahaha!