How about a Tibetan sky burial? They drag your lifeless corpse up into the mountain where the vultures and condors pick your bones clean and fly away. What can I say. It's the romantic in me.

My mom donated her body to science. She loved the idea of handsome young medical students exploring her body. Even if she was dead. Can't tell if she was just crazy or 'Crazy Like A Fox' crazy.

My daughter is a 20-something Fangirl. She often talks of her faves by saying she Fangasms with joy from the fun of it. At this rate, I'll never be a grandmother.

As an atheist in Bible Belt Indiana, it's hard to avoid christian businesses. A church on every corner and a cross on every pick-up truck. Their delusion is not a problem if my toilet is seriously flowing over. But I don't like to encourage that sort of thing.

Murse? Really? Everyone knows a murse is a MALE NURSE!

My method of cooking the shit out of my fat juicy thighs is medium heat and time. I heat up half the grill, give those thighs a smack of rub. A quick sear then put them on the unheated side and close the lid. Roast for 45 minutes while getting my buzz on. The last 15 I lovingly baste my Mighty Thighs and cook them on…

Get a Grip, man! you NEED garlic powder and paprika. Get with the program, dude. And don't forget the Cumin...

"Glove Slap! I don't take Crap! Glove Slap, Bayaybee!"—B-52's guest starring on The Simpsons.

I am a Certified, Registered Asshole, and I call it Barbecue if I stick a toothpick in it to see if it's done. Then I eat it. Like a Boss.

Ok. I've been away for a while with no access to the internet. I am mad-craving cute kitten videos. So this is what I get? A dog feeding goats with milk jugs strapped to it's groin? WTF??? And yet...it's oddly mesmerizing....disturbing and uh...what was I talking about? Goats? GOATS? GOATS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just glad I'm not the only pervert out there to notice that. How about a Blue Waffle Taco? (Urbandictionary.com)

Don't feel sorry for us Detroiters. We try to move forward and don't waste time feeling sorry for ourselves.

My 73 year old Mother thought Hedwig and the Angry Inch was a great movie. She had gay room mates and was totally into gays and trans people. She loved them. She's gone now but I know she's smiling for the positive strides towards gay marriage!

You and I, we think alike!

These all look like tiny Rush Limbaughs. I would stomp the shit outta them! Oh, look! a Rush Roach! Thank goodness that no woman has been impregnated by Rush—-I mean, thank goodness that his women have aborted all his fetuses!

Who needs a stress ball when I can 'Squeeze A Fetus For Christ!" I would enjoy dropping them in ladies rooms and as they bounce out of the stall shout "Damn! There goes another one! Damn, they just won't stay in there for anything!"

My parents died young. Heart disease and pulmonary embolism. I'm healthy and have low cholesterol. But as a Long Term Care nurse in a nursing home, I know what you are saying. My mother-in-law has Alzheimer's. And I married her son, so I may have him to deal with some day. But at least I know how to handle it if bit…

I'm 57. I am NOT afraid of death. I'm afraid of what's going to happen between now and my demise. YIKES! And being older, I don't give a flying fuck about things that used to piss me off. I just don't care anymore. Religion? Gone. Atheism is very freeing. Money? I'll survive. Family? Good. Politics? Vote and move on.…

Oh, fictional? Dr. Who. He knows how to get around.

I'd want Dorothy Parker. She was the master of Snark. My type of girl...