When I was a kid, we'd trap our dog on the stairs by giving him a toy when his snout was through the banister poles. He eventually figured it out.

At the same time? *cough cough* *inappropriate giggles*

How do sales of this album of music and videos compare to the $1 release of Lady Gaga's "Born this Way"? Just wondering.

It would have to be for someone else's kidney stones. You could straddle them as you ovulate.

Are the ovary lasers suitable for smashing kidney stones????

I get many nose-job questions along w/those "you don't look Jewish" remarks.

Went to the zoo the other day, looked all over and couldn't find any IKEA monkeys! Dammit! Next thing someone will tell me there aren't any Afflack ducks.

Especially considering sexuality isn't a choice, it just is.

I may be wrong (holy fuck I truly hope I am wrong), but hasn't Miss Piggy done Playboy?

I'd have been more amused by the Zac Efron story if it were "Zac Efron bought a big ass-house." Just a thought.

Mom?

It's not like African Americans today don't know what it's like to be treated badly on the basis of their race. This is ridiculous and dangerous.

This is a bit more "hair caught in a fan" than "hairography."

You're thinking of the Vulva Helmet.

They're the people with whom you don't want to work. They hold their farts until they're at work.

Guys doing a lot of patting himself on the back for eating a burger and a donut.

People die of "exposure."

My cat gave it a funny look, but didn't really react. She's no help.

You can write a pre-nup that will insulate him from your debt. If this guy is letting his "banker" tell him you can't get married, he's a schmuck who's trying to get out of getting married and isn't mature enough to tell you. Walk away from this loser while you still can! This guy sounds like a spoiled brat. Yes,…

I totally hope Mr. Banks really did adopt that dog! (Yeah, I know he didn't, but still.)