Maybe next year we should give the teams civics tests, and the ones that score highest on the Slate/Salon/HuffPo Index win. No need to play any football at all, which solves the whole concussion problem as well.

I am reminded of a brilliant line from Dan Jenkins’s “Semi-Tough:”

I am reminded of a brilliant line from Dan Jenkins’s “Semi-Tough:”

I like Tom Brady. I don’t like you.

Maybe sometime later in the history of the NFL someone will top what Belichick and Brady did tonight. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. And I understand well why the Deadspin family are horrified by it. After all, these strivers are just so uncouth.

Maybe sometime later in the history of the NFL someone will top what Belichick and Brady did tonight. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. And I understand well why the Deadspin family are horrified by it. After all, these strivers are just so uncouth.

Many, years ago Belichick invited my wife, me and our two daughters, then aged six and ten, to the Pats/Eagles SuperBowl in Jacksonville. I couldn’t go; they did. They had a ball; at about 2AM, I got a phone call from a slightly-buzzed wife who said “someone wants to talk to you.” I have no idea what he said, but I…

Many, years ago Belichick invited my wife, me and our two daughters, then aged six and ten, to the Pats/Eagles SuperBowl in Jacksonville. I couldn’t go; they did. They had a ball; at about 2AM, I got a phone call from a slightly-buzzed wife who said “someone wants to talk to you.” I have no idea what he said (the…

Oh, gee. A request for something real. How quaint.

Oh, gee. A request for something real. How quaint.

Please. Knock yourself out. Let me know how it goes.

This is what Tom Ley looks like:

...and was never heard from again.

I bet he can count much higher than that, like: “I make millions of dollars a year. How about you, genius?”

Yeah. Poor old Gronk. He wishes he were you.

Yeah. Poor old Gronk. He wishes he were you.

Sounds great. After all, who wouldn’t want to work at Deadspin? (Hint: check employee histories for this site. And ask yourself: do you want to live in the special hell called “Hamilton Nolan?”

No, sweetie. That’s just a dream you had.

This is horrible beyond explanation. The entire construct of college football as a minor league for the NFL has been questioned for some time now, with good reason, and the notion that 23-year-old men with neck tattoos are “students” is prima facie absurd (“I didn’t come here to play “school”), but we could look the…

This is horrible beyond explanation. The entire construct of college football as a minor league for the NFL has been questioned for some time now, with good reason, and the notion that 23-year-old men with neck tattoos are “students” is prima facie absurd (“I didn’t come here to play “school”), but we could look the…